Over the last week in California, something shifted for me. It wasn’t a singular action that spurred this shift in consciousness, nor was it the trip itself. But, removing myself from my daily life became a powerful pause that allowed me to tune in and listen.
When I stepped away from my daily life – when I stepped away from the things that triggered pain and hurt – I abandoned hope of a better past.
It’s been a long year of B.S. between work, love and life and for the first time, I looked back at all my challenges, struggles and heartache and I wasn’t resentful. I wasn’t hurt. I wasn’t longing to be back where I was. I saw my past, nodded my head to it, thanked it and decided to walk forward into the unknown.
How often do we look back and go, “Oh, if only this didn’t happen? What if I was still with this person? What if I was still in this job? What if I was still wherever?”
Our setbacks, challenges and breaking moments of life incite powerful, painful emotions in us – emotions that settle deep in our bones long after the event itself. Because we hold onto the hope of a better past – that the person who broke our heart will realize we were “the one” or that the people who wronged us will get bitch-slapped from karma – we cling onto the very emotions we no longer want to feel. And we feel them over and over again. Wishing things were different. Wanting to be somewhere else. Unsure of why we’re stuck in this place.
Anything new you desire in life will ask you to first abandon all hope of a better past.
Letting go of what you had or who you were with – on any level – isn’t easy work. It’s gritty. It’s deep. It’s vulnerable and uncomfortable. You’ll complain about it and want to be back in it all at the same time. You’ll scream. You’ll cry. You’ll question if you’re sane and if you’ll ever get out the other end.
But, only if you do the work.
Forgive the people who wronged you.
Surrender to the events that transpired (they already happened anyway).
Accept how things unfolded or fell apart.
And forgive yourself for holding onto the hating and blaming – for wanting things to be different – for wanting people to “get theirs”.
It’s a hard pill to swallow – forgiveness and acceptance – but it’s only when we willingly surrender to life that we take our power back to create a beautiful future from where we are, rather than hoping we’ll find a better or different past by looking back.
Where this week can you abandon hope of a better past so that you can create a brighter future now?